Ok, not really. I exaggerated just a teeny weeny bit, but it's in keeping with everyone else fretting about bird flu that is slowly being discovered in countries across Europe. I also wasn't 100% accurate with the title either, but more on that later.
The BBC is reporting that tests are underway on a parrot that died in quarantine in the UK, of bird flu, to see if it died of the H5N1 strain that has been known to kill 60 people in Asia. Now I may not be alone here, but the first thing that popped into my mind wasn't - "Oh no, the virus is going to mutate and we're all going to die" but rather the well known Monty Python Dead Parrot Sketch... I know, I'm going to rot in hell for that thought, but that's just the way my mind works.
Anyway, because the bird was in quarantine, it's technically not in the UK; kind of like being in the duty free area at an airport - you're neither here nor there; but that's not going to stop people jumping to conclusions and worrying about absolutely nothing.
All these people forget the facts when they start to worry about bird flu mixing with human flu and mutating into some sort of super-dooper flu. There are two important facts that get forgotten; bird flu has been around for nearly 10 years now and it still hasn't mutated, so it's not going to mutate over night and the other is that the 61 people who've died from bird flu all worked in close contact with birds, so the chances of Joe Schmoe catching bird flu are quite slim.
I'm not saying it's not possible, but I'd rather just wait for it to happen - who knows, my left toe may mutate into another foot before bird flu mutates.
With that note I leave you with the best bit from the Dead Parrot Sketch...
'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!
'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!
'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!
'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!
THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!"