Scientist have discovered that one or two beers a day is actually good for your memory. That's right, beer can actually make you smarter.
They speculate that this is due to some sort of receptor being blocked by the low dose of alcohol. This in turn apparently results in a compensatory response from the part of the brain responsible for cognition, and thus enhanced memory.
My theory: it's a Darwinian principle. The low doses of alcohol fry the weaker brain cells, thus only allowing the stronger ones to survive. As there are less brain cells, the stronger ones have to work a bit harder until new brain cells grow. It's the simple theory of survival of the fittest. Just be careful: too much alcohol and the strong cells will be fried too ;-) .
Anyway, who cares which theory is correct. All I care about is becoming a genius, so I'll be starting my 2-a-day regime today. Watch this space - I might be a genius sooner than you think.