Well done England. Finally a win on your winter cricket jolly tour down under.

However the damage has already been done...

Little Archie Vaughan (son of the England Captain) was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of industry etc, but Archie was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."

The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took little Archie aside to ask him if that was really true.

"No" said Archie, "He plays cricket for England but I was just too embarrassed to say."